I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
