U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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