i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
