I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
