He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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