two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
