It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
