i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
