the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
