How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
another moral hangover. fuck.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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