If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
