Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
