I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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