dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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