New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
