that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
50% drunk capacity currently
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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