I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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