imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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