Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
