I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
