I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
