I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
