I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Randomize