He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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