For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
