Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
