I heard we made out
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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