I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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