Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
