"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
