What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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