covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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