when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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