He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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