she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
