Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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