I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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