"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
