is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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