dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
