So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
