Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
