Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
