Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize