i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
