The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
