Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
