I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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