I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
