so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
