You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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