just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize