I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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