Duck Duck Cougar?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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