I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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