school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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