she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
