No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize