You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
