Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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