he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
