Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
