Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My cat gives me a boner
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
