I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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