I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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