If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
