I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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