omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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