i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
