o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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