It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
