i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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