So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my being single is dangerous.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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