do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
