I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
