Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
