Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
