and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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