he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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