I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
